Luke – Matthew, I think you’ll find that it was the angel Gabriel who came to Mary.

Matthew – That may well be, but it is important to establish Jesus in the line of David…

Luke – What is important is Mary’s obedience to God. It’s her actions that shape the whole rest of the story.

Matthew – (agitated) I respectfully disagree, if Joseph hadn’t help the family escape from Herod’s wrath into Egypt, just as Patriarch Joseph, his namesake, escaped into Egypt from his brothers’ wrath…

Luke – Oh, you do love singing the oldies, don’t you? Can’t you accept that God is doing a new thing here?

Mr. Q – What do you say, John?

John – Jesus has always been here. In the beginning Jesus was there when the oceans were formed and the mountains raised and the first little birdies sang their first little song…

Mr. Q – Ohhh-kay. Thanks for that perspective, John. So, quickly, where was Jesus born?

Matthew – Bethlehem.

Luke – Bethlehem.

John – Doesn’t matter.

Mark – Can we just move on?

Mr. Q – How about John the Baptist? You all four seem to agree he was a very important part of Jesus’ beginning.

Mark – Haven’t I already covered this?

Luke – John is so important, in fact, that I tell the story of his birth right at the beginning.

Matthew – Of course, John is important. He walks in the path of the prophets before him.

Mr. Q – John?

John – John the Baptist came to testify to the light, but he was not the light, but came to testify to the light.

Mr. Q – Ohhh-kay. Thanks again for your unique perspective, John. How about the Disciples? Certainly they were important to Jesus’ ministry.

Mark – Yes, yes! Immediately after Jesus came out of the desert he went and immediately called the twelve.

Matthew – Well, he called them one by one, and note the number “twelve.” This reflects the twelve tribes of Israel and so looks back to our roots.

Mark – Actually, the disciples really stand in for us, the readers, and so represent our present.

Luke – No, the disciples prefigure the church to come and so reflect our future.

Mr. Q – John?

John – They didn’t really get Jesus. (shakes head)

Mr. Q – Uh-huh. How about Jesus’ teachings?

Mark – Jesus was a man of action. He healed. He cast out demons. He fed people. He moved on. Immediately! Not much time for chit-chat.

Matthew – Jesus was a teacher, a rabbi, if you will. Of course he taught in sermons and stories all the time.

Luke – I agree with Matthew, basically. Jesus taught about a kingdom that would include everyone.

Mr. Q – John?

John – Oh sure, he spoke… but did anyone listen? (shakes head)

Mr. Q – Thanks, John, again. Ohhh-kay, moving on, let’s talk about a sad chapter – Jesus’ betrayal. Who betrayed Jesus?

Matthew, Mark, Luke, John – (together) Judas (spit take)

Mr. Q – Good to know we can all agree on something. So, let’s talk about Jesus’ last hours.

Mark – It was agonizing. He was betrayed, beaten, tortured, and he cried out in pain to God – “Why have you forsaken me?!”

John – You don’t get it, do you? That was all for show. Jesus was really in control all along. He knew this was going to happen. He knew how everything would turn out.

Mark – Are you kidding me? He had nails! Through his feet! And hands! Are you telling me he didn’t feel any pain?

John – (placidly) He transcended pain. (serene smile)

Mark – Riiiggght. (circles his ear with a finger to show John is crazy)

Mr. Q – Matthew and Luke? Where do you two stand?

Luke – (looking between Mark and John somewhat fearfully) Uhh… somewhere in between.

Matthew – (quickly) Ditto.

Mr. Q – Let’s move on. How about the resurrection?

Matthew – It happened on the first day of the week…

Mark – Sunday…

Luke – After the Sabbath was over.

John – It was still dark.

Matthew – The sun had just risen.

Luke – Mary Magdalene…

Mark – and Salome…

Matthew – and the other Mary…

Mark – They all came with spices to anoint him. And they wondered who will roll away the stone that was covering the tomb?

Matthew – But there was this earthquake! And an angel descended from heaven and moved the stone away.

Luke – So you say! Anyway, they found that the stone had already been moved away.

Mark – There were two men in white sitting in the otherwise empty tomb.

Luke – No, they were standing beside them.

Mark – The women were alarmed.

Luke – They were terrified.

Matthew – The guards shook and fell down like dead men.

Mark – But the angels said, “Do not be alarmed!”

Matthew – “Do not be afraid!”

Luke – They asked, “Why do you look for the living among the dead?”

John – They asked, “Why are you weeping?” And Mary answered, “Because they have taken my Lord away.” And then she saw someone she thought to be the gardener, but it was the risen Lord!

Luke – Actually he first appeared to two travelers on the road to Emmaus.

Matthew – No, the women saw Jesus as they ran away from the tomb.

Mark – Actually, I agree with John on this one.

Matthew, Luke and Mr. Q – (stare incredulously at Mark)

Mark - Kinda. More or less. What?

Mr. Q – Well, there’s a first. Well, that’s all the time we have today for Cross Talk. Meet us next time when we discuss the list of the disciples.

John – (self satisfied) Nathanael.

Matthew, Luke, Mark – (upset) Bartholomew!

John – (shakes head serenely) Nathanael.

Matthew, Luke, Mark – Bartholomew!!

(continues)

Mr. Q – (shouting over the panelists) An exciting discussion to be sure, next time on Cross Talk!

Lawrence Lee
Written for United Church of Two Harbors
February 12, 2006
(Based in part on an earlier work, “The Reduced Bible,” by Robb Bruce, Lisa-Marie Centeno, Fuzzy Gerdes, Lawrence Lee, Liz Thelen, and Charlotte VanVactor – Summer, 1992)